Posts Tagged ‘Holiday’


The Pre and Post-Nup Valentine

Tuesday, January 24th, 2017

The Pre and Post-Nup Valentine

By Steven B. Chroman, Attorney at Law

It sure doesn’t sound like the most romantic gift in the world, however, it could ultimately be as important as having a Will or a Trust set up for the future of your family.

A prenuptial agreement must be accompanied by a full financial disclosure. Love can blind us to the reality of marriage being a business in some ways. A partnership that involves financial transactions that will impact you both for the entirety of your marriage. A lot can be learned during this process, sometimes it makes no difference, other times, it can show, for instance hidden debts that can take a financial toll on a marriage for many years, such as student loans, foreclosures and bankruptcy. You wouldn’t go into business with someone not knowing if they can get a loan… and if you plan on having a home and a family, this is as good time as any to know there may be roadblocks. Knowing is a lot better than being blindsided or feeling ‘betrayed’ by hidden truths.

Want to protect your future income? Retirement account contributions? Appreciation on your non-marital business? Then you need a prenuptial agreement.

‘I’m already married…so is it too late?’

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Holiday the Divorced Way

Tuesday, January 24th, 2017

Holiday the Divorced Way

By Steven B. Chroman, Attorney at Law

Every year I write an article with holiday advice. These are helpful tools and suggestions; however, we recognize that reading and doing are two very different things. This can be one of the most difficult times of the year, regardless of your marital status. My number one advice- do the best you can. You’re human and no one- NO ONE can or should tell you how to feel. In the meantime, here are some tips to help. And remember, gym memberships don’t have to be just for getting in shape, it’s a great way to meet new people and get out those pent-up emotions!

  • Accept your parenting plan and choose to make the best of it as it is. Schedule your holiday plans around your parenting agreement;
  • Create and enforce a conflict-free zone around yourself and your children. (At least try to);
  • Focus on your time with your children instead of the time you aren’t going to be together;

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Resolutions, Divorce and the New Year

Friday, December 9th, 2016

Resolutions, Divorce and the New Year

By: Steven B. Chroman, Attorney at Law

If you are making the choice to sever your marriage in 2017, here are some resolutions to add to your list.

Line up your priorities. Is it finding a home? Is it financial? Getting a job? Managing a special-needs child in the face of divorce? Jot down your most important priorities down to the small things that can wait. Having these priorities in line can help you systematically cope with the difficulties of divorce.

-Build A Network

Some family or friends may be more absent than you had predicted or hoped. Gather yourself tightly around those who do support you and don’t be afraid to ask for help. Going through a divorce, especially with children, is tough.

-Rebuild Your Career (more…)

The ‘Life is Short, Get a Divorce’ Debate

Tuesday, December 6th, 2016

The Life is Short, Get a DivorceDebate

A new year approaches…

By Steven B. Chroman, Attorney at Law

 

When the aforementioned billboard came out people went crazy. Like any good marketing campaign it was successful in sparking controversy and conversation. At the heart of the matter was the underlying truth of the statement itself. But the message, some may say even of hope, was shortly derailed as the slogan was then shrewdly utilized by the Ashely Madison company and morphed into the not so lovely, ‘Life is Short, Have an Affair’ campaign) But let me be VERY clear. There is a huge difference in these two messages, and the first one remains a worthwhile discussion.

 

Marriage, as we know, was born out of politics. It was a way to gain wealth and power. Love was not a driving factor, in fact it was often the obstacle to a ‘good marriage’. Then in the late 1800s there was a shift, and people began to marry for love. But the politics were never really far behind. As a married couple, in love, the many financial benefits could not be ignored. From taxes and healthcare to overall spending in a household, it was fortuitous to be a couple versus an individual. Slowly we started to move back toward marriage as a business on paper rather than about finding your loving soulmate.

 

Many people, especially around the holidays, begin to question their happiness. Some stay for the sake of a family unit. Life is indeed easier when you don’t have to part ways emotionally and especially not financially.

 

Society is once again shifting. As we live longer, and learn more about who we are as individuals the idea of marriage for life no longer seems to be a given. Never before has a generation waited to marry for so long. In fact, most millennial’s don’t see marriage as an option at all. Why is it necessary they ask? Unfortunately, it is a financial answer that comes to mind first. Saying ‘because it makes you stick it through’ is their exact argument as to why marriage is a dying concept.

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Divorcing the Turkey

Tuesday, December 6th, 2016

Divorcing the Turkey

Our Turkey Statement of Thanks

By Steven B. Chroman, Attorney at Law

 

The holidays are here! Either you love this time of year or you hate it. Add separation or divorce into the mix and it can amplify those feelings, ten-fold.

 

The time spent with family and friends, can easily turn into finding out who your family and friends really are. The time spent reflecting on the past year can also be a time to reflect on who you’ve been and who you want to be moving forward.

 

Working out stress and anger can be done with new gym memberships and time to yourself, or you can keep yourself busy with all of the upcoming parties, or hermit away until the New Year bell rings.

 

We’ve all been there one way or another in life. Life is a roller coaster of emotions and people, families and loved ones.  Going through divorce are especially susceptible to enhanced, raw, misunderstood and painful emotions. Others may feel joy and optimism. That is what is special about the holidays. They bring out something different in everyone. While the holidays are supposed to be about loving and giving, they have in some respect oddly turned into a time of material acquisitions and fighting over ‘stuff’.

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The Thanksgiving Divorce Coping With Giving Thanks

Tuesday, December 6th, 2016

The Thanksgiving Divorce Coping With Giving Thanks

By Steven B. Chroman, Attorney at Law

The first holidays after a divorce means a flood of memories from previous holidays and/or the traditions you shared. Consider this my free advice. Its okay to feel sad, even mad, you are human after all.

A suggestion I usually make is to try on your first single Thanksgiving to try and make new traditions. Go traditional or shake it up, go to friends or volunteer. A great reminder that you can make others smile when it may be hard for you to do so yourself. Its hard, but when you’re dealing with divorce, try not to focus on how things were. Think about how things can be now, and take steps to make them that way. You have the power. If you have gone through a divorce, you know you are stronger than you ever thought possible.

Talk to supportive friends and family

If you need to vent or need a shoulder to cry on, grab a friend or family member that you trust and let it out. Otherwise, do your best to strive for a good holiday atmosphere, free from bitterness.

Try to talk to somebody beforehand and keep the negative thoughts and energy away from enjoying the holiday.

The hard one; be flexible with scheduling

If you have children, then you’ll be doing something gut wrenching, figuring out which parent they’ll spend Thanksgiving with. Part of dealing with divorce is not letting bitterness color the holiday for you or your children. Top rule: don’t speak ill of your ex to your kids or complain about having to “share” them for the holidays. If your children are old enough to make decisions about where to go for the holidays, chances are they already feel guilty about not being able to see both of you. Complaining will make it worse, and may actually make them resent you.

Yes, the list; what you are thankful for (more…)