The Thanksgiving Divorce Coping With Giving Thanks


The Thanksgiving Divorce Coping With Giving Thanks

By Steven B. Chroman, Attorney at Law

The first holidays after a divorce means a flood of memories from previous holidays and/or the traditions you shared. Consider this my free advice. Its okay to feel sad, even mad, you are human after all.

A suggestion I usually make is to try on your first single Thanksgiving to try and make new traditions. Go traditional or shake it up, go to friends or volunteer. A great reminder that you can make others smile when it may be hard for you to do so yourself. Its hard, but when you’re dealing with divorce, try not to focus on how things were. Think about how things can be now, and take steps to make them that way. You have the power. If you have gone through a divorce, you know you are stronger than you ever thought possible.

Talk to supportive friends and family

If you need to vent or need a shoulder to cry on, grab a friend or family member that you trust and let it out. Otherwise, do your best to strive for a good holiday atmosphere, free from bitterness.

Try to talk to somebody beforehand and keep the negative thoughts and energy away from enjoying the holiday.

The hard one; be flexible with scheduling

If you have children, then you’ll be doing something gut wrenching, figuring out which parent they’ll spend Thanksgiving with. Part of dealing with divorce is not letting bitterness color the holiday for you or your children. Top rule: don’t speak ill of your ex to your kids or complain about having to “share” them for the holidays. If your children are old enough to make decisions about where to go for the holidays, chances are they already feel guilty about not being able to see both of you. Complaining will make it worse, and may actually make them resent you.

Yes, the list; what you are thankful for

It’s probably your number one thought day and night. And who could blame you? Everything in your life has been turned upside-down. However, the very definition of Thanksgiving is “giving thanks.”

Take some time to sit down and write out your first ‘single’ thankful list. Life transitions in general are never easy, but by taking little steps at a time, I promise you, you will adapt. The holidays will never be as you remembered them, but with a little patience, flexibility, good food, (and wine) you can make it through your first Thanksgiving after a divorce with a smile.

For more information and to schedule your free consultation, please call The Law Offices of Steven B. Chroman, P.C., at 661-255-1800. Mr. Chroman is a Trusted Advisor Award Winner and named Top 100 California Attorney’s with over 19 years of experience and local service.

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